When she opened the door, I was expecting her to be someone else. I’d met her and her girlfriend at the same time and I’d intended to call the other one. I got their names mixed up. I tried to explain, and she threw me out.
— Ethan, 23, Boca Raton, FL

I hired a guy to write a brochure for work. The guy messed up the job and missed the deadline, so I chewed him out and fired him —
and guess who my blind date was the next Saturday night?
— Dodie, 36, Galveston, TX

Sidney said he like long walks on the beach. I didn't think he meant
with his metal detector.
--Deb 42, Detroit, MI

I really liked Heather, but no matter how we positioned ourselves, our noses
were in the way. It just wasn’t meant to be.
—Wesley, 27, Wichita, KS

How cheap was he? He didn’t want to pay for a parking lot, so he parked on the street. And, guess what, he got a parking ticket. Stan cursed and said no way was he going to pay it. Then he put it on the windshield of the car parked behind him. I reminded him that the ticket had his license plate number on it. He said, “Yeah, but you never know — nobody reads parking tickets. The guy might just pay it.”
—Nancy, 23, Boston, MA

I went to use the bathroom in Wes’ apartment. He didn’t tell me he had a boa constrictor in his bathtub. He waited to hear me scream. He thought this was a hoot.
—Rita, 42, New York, NY

Dave asked me over for dinner. When I got there, he told me to “make myself at home,” and then he pumped iron in the basement for an hour. After that he took a shower. It was like he didn’t know I was there. I didn’t get upset; I made long-distance calls. At least, when the bills come, he’ll know.
—Dena, 34, Chicago, IL

He spent our whole dinner talking on his portable phone. His office, his broker, his client, his four-year-old son, his ex-wife. I entertained myself by ordering more food and drinks. I had two desserts. Finally, sitting across the table, I called him from my portable. He laughed and said he’d get back to me.
—Angie, 33, Coral Gables, FL

Pam suggested that we “share” dessert, a piece of apple pie a la mode. I managed to dive in once, while she was chewing, and I got a taste of ice cream with a little bit of crust. But the way she attacked that plate, I was afraid to try for more. Truly, her fork was a weapon. It was dangerous to get between Pam and her pie.
—Dennis, 42, Tampa, FL

Our date was like a job interview. He wanted to know what I wanted from life, where I wanted to be in five years, ten years. Which I valued more: security or opportunity. He asked me to write my epitaph. I said, “Here lies Marilyn.
She dated her share of jerks.” He laughed.
—Marilyn, 34, Houston, TX

When Walt asked me out, he said I should cook and he’d bring the entertainment. Turned out he was an Amway salesman. The “entertainment” was their packaged presentation. It wasn’t enough that I’d cooked; he wanted me to buy his detergent, too.
— Amy, 30, Baltimore, MD

For our first date, I invited Joe to dinner. He brought Tupperware,
to take home the leftovers.
— Sophie, 55, Cherry Hill, NJ