District Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

D.A.: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Lady: I was sitting on my front porch swing on a warm spring
evening, when a young man comes up on the porch and sat down beside me.

D.A.: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

D.A.: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He put his hand on my thigh.

D.A.: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

D.A.: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my husband, Elmer passed away some 30 years ago.

D.A.: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He put his arms around me and held me close.

D.A.: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

D.A.: Why not?

Little Old Lady: Why, Your Honor, that closeness made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

D.A.: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said
to him..."Take me young man...Take me!"

D.A.: And did he?

Little Old Lady: Heck, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!"
And that's when I shot the little buggar.