You
may be headed over the hill if. . .
You and your teeth don't
sleep together.
You try to straighten out the
wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing
any.
At the breakfast table, you hear
snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
Your back goes out but you stay
home.
You wake up looking like your
driver's license photo.
It takes two tries to get up from
the couch.
When your idea of a night out
is sitting on the patio.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you're on vacation and your
energy runs out before your money does.
When you say something to your
kids that your mother said to you and you always hated
it.
When all you want for your birthday
is to not be reminded of your age.
When you step off the curb and
look down one more time to make sure the
street
is still there.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing
up.
It takes longer to rest than it
did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and your
complaining lasts longer.
Your address book has mostly names
that start with Dr.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't
get it going.
The pharmacist has become your new
best friend.
Getting "lucky" means
you found your car in the parking lot.
The twinkle in your eye is merely
a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
It takes twice as long - to look
half as good.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't
hurt, doesn't work.
You look for your glasses for half
an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
You sink your teeth into a steak
- and they stay there.
You give up all your bad habits
and still don't feel good.
You have more patience, but it is
actually that you just don't care anymore.
You finally get your head together
and your body starts falling apart.
You wonder how you could be over
the hill when you don't even remember
being
on top of it.
Over the
hill, or not, you've got some
swingin' friend who wanted to make you smile
by sharing this with you !
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