When I was in my younger days,
  I weighed a few pounds less,
  I needn't hold my tummy in
  to wear a belted dress.

  But now that I am older,
  I've set my body free;
  There's comfort of elastic
  Where once my waist would be.

  Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
  My feet have not forgiven;
  I have to wear a nine now,
  But used to wear a seven.

  And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knees?

I need to wear these glasses
As the print was getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to grey
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
Just the outside's changed a bit.